Thanks to all who expressed concern over my prev. expressive blog entry. I'm ok now, and sorry if it was overly cryptic, just me venting and letting my emotions out.

Anyway, today's a happpy day where I dragged my mum down to Simlim to get my new toy.

The Lenovo 3000 N100

Operating System: MS Windows XP Home
Processor Name: Intel Core Duo T2300
Processor Speed: 1.83 GHz
RAM: 1024 MB
Storage Capacity: 80 GB
Graphics Card: 256MB nVidia GeForce Go 7300
Primary Optical Drive: Dual-Layer DVD+/-RW
Wireless: 802.11a/g
Screen Size: 15.4 inches
Screen Size Type: Widescreen, 1280 x 800

As can be seen, its quite a powerful gaming platform for a laptop. But at a staggering 3+kg, its ginormous.



The laptop is surprisingly cool (as in heat dissipation) and quiet.



There was a glossy lcd screen version, but that'll cost like $300+ more.. No point.

So, today this cost me $2399, and the guy threw in a $99 HP Deskjet 3920 at a discounted price of $50.

This is way better than the $2100 Thinkpad Matric fair is offering at an extra of $200.

Tired.

It could be the late, quiet night, with only the indistinguishable murmurs from the TV.

But after that phone call, or rather ever since it started, there has always been this lump, this hidden frustration, that's distorting and filtering whatever emotions I had related to this issue.

The end result of that mutation sparked by that unresolved knot is usually something very complex, a whole new emotion that just lingers and starts to expand within your chest cavity till you feel bloated like a helium balloon.

As with simple emotions such as anger, you feel it, understand and be aware of what you are feeling, and wait for it to subside. Once it does, the peace of knowing that what was there no longer inhabits your body will then slowly wash over you like a gentle wave, causing a slight sense of euphoria.

These mutated emotions are different. For as long as I do not identify them, they continue to be suffused into the fibres of my being, laying dormant each time waiting to be reignited by certain external stimuli. The cause of these new emotions, the tumour, the unresolved knot in my heart since that issue, has to be removed with surgical precision, if I am to function normally for the next one year.

Each relapse ends usually with only few outcomes: unexplained anger towards nobody in particular, where the lack of a victim compounds the anger. lost of interest in anything in the world, bringing with it varying degrees of anti social behaviour. the crumbling of personal self-esteem in an irrepairable fashion, with a cumulative effect.

So please, do let me know what I am feeling right now, and how, how can I stop feeling these new unknown emotions.

What an eventful day.. =)

Woke up from nap as described below, ate dinner, then proceeded to meet my army mates at chomp chomp.

Quite nice to see them all again, the bunch who I spent 2yrs at Seletar with. Seriously, the days at the old camp was really good.. glad I managed to spend my NS there.. The late nights in the lorry, the mangosteen plucking, or just plain sitting in the big field watching the lalang sway and breeze upon my cheeks.. All away from the urbanised Singapore.

Though I have to admit my tolerance for 2nd hand smoke has dropped drastically ever since I ORD'ed.. my lungs were having probs with the smoke emitted from my campmates.. *cough cough*

At 1030 I took a short lift from Tzewei (5min ride) to Summer Place, for huifen's 21st. It turned out to be a RI class and NCC gathering for me instead.. 3 NCC mate and 1 classmate were there, along with Melissa Cho's good friend Meiqi.. haha what a small world. or rather, singapore.

Some of the links include:
Meiqi happens to be the secondary sch classmate of Huifen. Meiqi is a good friend of my classmate Melissa. Meiqi is in RJ, and knows a bunch of my RI NCC and classmates.

Huifen's brother is in Hall 13 NTU, same hall as Lingling, Lauret, Hanyu, etc etc. Joanne whom I met from yet another facilitation job, the Amazing Race was from Hall 13 NTU too.

Yucong, Meiqi both knows Da from school too, whom I got to know from Aard(online game) in Sec 2.

Anyway, after everyone left, I took a train with Jianan and Meiqi to Clarke Quay Brewerks to meet the councillors. When I reached they just got ready to leave. Those present were: Hanyu, Layboon, Pila, Kit, Ian Tan, and nic at the station. Rushed to the 80 bus stop and managed to grab a direct bus back.. *cheers!* saved $$.

*yawn* now all showered and nice, ready to sleep to prepare for tuition tmr morning.

Good night people.

Just got back from another "Amazing Race-sque" race for GReendale Secondary, which is fortunately 12mins by bus from my palce =)

This race unlike the previous North View one, was simpler, had 5 times more students, and ended faster too. The routes ran through places like the Merlion, Raffles statue and St Andrew's Cathedral.. but yay! the pay's the same $55~! for a morning's worth of running it isn't that bad.

Met a girl today (one of the facs) who woke me from my sleepy mood in the morning at 7am by giving me the firmest handshake I ever had from a female. I didn't even have the time to curl in my fingers to complete the hold.. haha impressive..

Going to take a nap right now, then go meet up with army campmates whom I havent seen in a long while at chomp chomp.. then popping by Huifen's 21st bdae which incidentally happens to be at gardens too!

Dreading tuition tmr morning right now.. but what to do? It's all for the

$$$

.

Woot!! Just back from the show..

Its one of the more witty and light hearted entertainment I've watched in a while.. All should try to catch it.. its really not bad.

One down, one more to go.. Pirates 2!!

Marticulation, tuition grant, laptop, hall acceptance fees, my gosh.. so many things to settle.. why can't it be just like secondary school and primary school.. its still an institution for education isn't it?

And I seriously do need either a secretary (the hot fantastical kind) or a trusty PDA. My appointments and commitments and dates and flooding my lil brain, too much for me to handle. Anyway one of my dream since primary school has always been to have a really nice girl to help me with such stuff.. since a certain primary 6 classmate spoilt me in such matters.. haha.

Anyway, first Suggie Quiz question! :

10 bonus Sluggie points to whoever can name my standard MOS Burger orders on tag!

Ok, trudged down to Sim Lim Tower to get 2 cheap solar cells and some jumper wires and some other misc. items.

After 5hrs of soldering, cutting bending and frustration, not to mention one big connection error, the robot lives!

Basically it lives off solar power, and using two tiny motors and light sensors attempt to move in the direction of the brightest light.

The motors are firing, circuits are working, but the design and workmanship is crap. Motors keep slipping, not enough traction blah blah. Will work on it tmr.

Work again tmr, but at least its a Friday and Ian will be going to VJ w me to meet the rest for floorball.. woot!

Oh yes, managed to exchange roles and got to be Lane 1 Timekeeper today. Everything finished quite on time, till the very last race where an extra reswim was scheduled for two girls who apparently had the same timing.

They were at most erm 7-8 yrs old? Poor girls.. everyone in the complex was packing and ready to go, but paused just to watch the two of them compete against each other in the humongous pool.

Not to mention the countless coaches, school teachers, parents all yelling something like a cross between a cheer and swear words at the 2 of them.

Then the timekeepers realised something: The two poor girls were tearing all the way up onto the platform. Not bawling and sobbing out loud, but just resolute tearing. What a sight.

Whistle went off and they swam, so close that in the end one made it in and won by less than 0.5 seconds. Out they came, the winner was congratulated and the other consoled.

Ack. such pressures to perform at such a young age.

haha i know most of you prob wont be interested but today i actually got the solar engine to work. Only prob is the prev. FLED engine probably didn't work due to the sucky current output of the solar cells I cannibalised form 2 calculators.

Even when I changed to the more efficient Fred solarengine it took the panel 30secs to charge at 5cm from a bright desklamp to pulse the motor once.. *faints* but at least I know it works.

Was gonna source for better solar cells at SimLim today, but missed the closing hrs of the stores cuz one poor girl who was working at the swim meet too got her ENTIRE bag stolen. And she had everything inside.. handphone, wallet, IC, ATM cards, $200 cash. Ouch. Another ACJC swimmer lost his bag at the meet too.. haiz. Take care of your belongings people, the public is not as safe as you think. I remember the day I lost my freaking schoolbag (stolen) at Parkway Foodcourt when I was with a buncha friends. Lost my Gameboy and the cartridge in it too *sob*

And I'm banning myself from further Butter Waffles from cake shops.. been eating one everyday at Toa Payoh.. *ack* 3 more days to go and the meet will be over. Ian will be joining me tmr for the primary school meet =) haha yay company.

Cherish the times when you're part of a whole thoroughly. =)

Haha as most of you already know, I'm currently working with ESN as a yeoman to help out in the 47th National Swim Meet. In summary, its good easy money =)

Work ended 3:45pm ytd, so decided to join the guys for floorball in VJ.. It was darn tiring.. 3.5hrs of non stops floorball had me dripping wet with perspiration, right down so my pants.. (Everywhere I sat left a puddle for the next 2hrs) It was pretty disgusting till I got home.. *ack* Only brought a change of shirt, no shorts or underwear. (i was wearing 3/4s)

Game finally ended when I slipped on Yiwen's stick and ended up with a left calf cramp. Left for PP hawker for dinner. Took cab home =)

Anyway, an idea just popped in my head and right now i'm looking for a way to set up a quiz.. when its done, I'll post it up here and it'll be fun ahaa..

So till next time!